For two weeks now, I’ve been waking up feeling GOOD. It feels so nice it almost makes me weepy. After over a decade during which the majority of mornings have been clouded by crippling hangovers, this is enough to make me almost burst with joy. Yesterday was the second Sunday in I don’t know how long that I woke up with a clear head. Normally I am lethargic, dizzy, unsteady and generally just a train wreck and the difference is astounding – I wake up full of energy, joy and lust for life. Having said that, yesterday was a little different and I think it’s all this sobriety business that’s caught up with me a little. Possibly it’s something to do with the missing 1500-odd calories from two-and-a-bit bottles of wine per night that my body is now going without.
I woke up early enough – without going to bed in full on black-out I tend to naturally wake very early, so I was up by 6.30am and enjoyed my morning coffee in solitude watching the world come to life from the living room window. By the time it got to lunch time and hubby and I had done the rugby collection run, we decided on binge watching a Nordic Noir series so planted ourselves on the sofa. Before I knew it, I was nodding off. And I didn’t just nod off, I fell into a deep sleep. I woke when hubby told me he needed to pop out to get some milk and relocated to bed. I didn’t expect to, but again fell fast asleep. Not a nap or a little rest – I mean actual, deep sleep and I dreamt lots. I slept for a good three hours, yet still fell asleep quickly when it was time for bed and didn’t wake up once. I never knew being sober could be so exhausting. I would have gone to the meeting down the road last night but I was just too knackered.
My sober energy does need outlets and there are many – writing, silversmithing, running and doing all those things I’m usually too wrecked to do – but I’m discovering that the early days of sobriety is when I probably need to just be really kind to myself and treat it as recovering from having been deployed to some war zone. Which in a way is quite accurate. The drastic reduction in calories must also have something to do with my sudden craving for chocolate – I don’t even bloody like chocolate! – and sweets. No wonder I was tired, who wouldn’t be when halving their calorie intake? I’m taking vitamins and an iron supplement so hopefully once my body has adjusted to a life off the Sauv, I’ll be coming back to life again.
Perhaps I’ll end up getting a little fat, and as much as my backside doesn’t need to get any bigger given I could give Kim Kardashian a run for her money as it is, I suppose a fat arse is better than drinking myself into an early grave. And in case of a famine I’ll fare better than skinny folk, so it’s still a win-win, right? Oh, and if there’s a flood I’ll float better too.