All is Well in the Amber Alert Zone

Today is a good day, despite hubby being away. Unlike Sunday night, I slept well even though falling asleep without that big ol’ kiwi with his long arms and legs everywhere is weird. Hotness is back on Thursday so two more sleeps to go. Just me and Bambino.

I wonder if this is what it will now be like? Hubby away used to be my absolute amber alert zone and when I’d be most likely to hit the bottle, but something has shifted and that old urge has just gone AWOL. I’m not so cocky that I believe I’m now done with getting sober and have been cured, but perhaps I’m now getting to a stage where I can relax a bit and not be so focused on being sober every hour of every day? What’s your experience? Did you suddenly find yourself in calmer waters and didn’t have to work so hard anymore? Or is this just a patch and this will come and go? Answers on a postcard, please.

Had THE best run last night. I’m now up to 3 x 15 minutes on my running app: run for 15 minutes then walk for one minute times three. 45 minutes of running WOOHOO! And do you know what? It was one of those spectacular, glorious, wonderful, special and thoroughly awesome runs. It just felt GOOD and I felt STRONG. Fucking awesome. Totally perfect. Not all runs feel that way but this one did and just thinking about it makes me smile. Endorphins rock. I’m in my gym clothes, heading straight to lycra hell after work and hoping it’ll feel just as good but perhaps it won’t and that’s OK too. The gym really isn’t my cup of coffee but it does do me good and I do feel great after my work-out.

Well. As you can tell, I don’t have much to say today. And that’s probably a really good thing, right? Just a normal day, one in a long string of others. Just a normal day when sobriety is pretty easy, normal and uneventful. I take this to be a VERY good sign. I’ll always keep my eye out, but today it’d appear I can relax a little perhaps, put my sword down for a moment and just enjoy the sunshine.

Today I’m not going to drink.

6 thoughts on “All is Well in the Amber Alert Zone

  1. I find myself surprised when I realize that I drive home more now and don’t even have I WANT TO DRINK thoughts as I go past the liquor outlets. I too am feeling better about my sober journey but there is no way I will be thinking yep cured nor bold enough to say I’ve got this. There are STILL times when I really want to numb things out and after my last round of being sober for close to 3 years and then falling off the wagon my confidence is shattered because I learnt just how easy it is to go back to it.

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    • That’s the thing, isn’t it? I catch myself thinking “oh, but I wouldn’t throw this away” about the life sobriety has returned to me, but that’s exactly what I DID throw away before. It’s scary to think just how easy it would be and how little it would take to give in to that tiniest thought and BOOM you’re back to square one. I guess I’ll hold on to my sword. 🙂 xx

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      • Good thinking 🙂 I would love to think that we will be fine and that we’ve got this and a part of me thinks I’m my own worst enemy for having that doubt there but it is what it is. No one else is traveling our journey that has to be ours alone and we have to own it.

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  2. So glad I found your blog. Hilarious!! At two and half years’ sober, I almost never think about drinking unless it’s because I’m annoyed at how often I’m stuck with other people who are drinking to excess. Or drinking at all. They sit around the table at restaurants FOREVER, while I’m through eating and want to leave. 😀
    But seriously, I think blogging has kept me sober. I’m not sure how it works and I don’t like to look too closely, but it’s been like magic for me. I hope it continues to work for you too.

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    • Hi Shawna! I’m deeply honored and a little star struck because your blog is one I always read and love! 🙂 Yes, I agree, blogging is one of my absolute can’t-do-without tools and the online tribe I’ve found is amazing. The bloggers I follow have made such an enormous difference, without being dramatic I want to say life saving, even though they probably don’t even know it. Sometimes all you need is to hear about someone else’s experience in a certain situation and no one can better understand how you feel than someone who’s on the same journey. And thank you for sharing yours – your blog is awesome. Anna x

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      • Anna, I had to laugh out loud about the star-struck part. Ha ha! I feel the same way about Mrs. D, Sober Mummy, and some other sober bloggers that really helped me identify with a community that I either couldn’t find or could not identify with where I live. I’ve never been one to connect with people online, so this has been such an amazing journey for me. I’ve made some of the best friends — people I have never talked to in person. I think when you can put aside all the bullshit and speak on a soul level, like we can here, that some kind of real connection is made.
        Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words about my blog. So many people have helped me out as well, without even knowing it. It really is like magic, or voodoo or something. 💕
        Shawna XOXO

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