The Loveliness of Slow

Last weekend was an unusual one. Hubby was away, which he often is, but unlike other times I now had the company of Bambino, who, thanks to some bad choices is grounded until 2019 and therefore had to hang out with mummy. Bambino is brilliant company actually, and I’m thoroughly enjoying getting all this time with my charming, witty, funny and often hugely irritating son. I think if he’d not been grounded and banned from all screens, I would have been bored stupid over the weekend. Instead, everything we did we did together as opposed to him being out and about with his friends or holed up in his room on the Playstation. I’m desperately missing hubby, so much so that it makes my heart churn, but this time has been easier simply because my little man has been much more of a companion. Obviously this is not his choice and I do realise he’d much prefer to play Red Redemption or whatever that new game is called, but I’m reaping the rewards nonetheless.

It was quite a slow weekend though, it has to be said. What struck me though, is how much a sober weekend contains even when we don’t do much. I wake early, so even after what is in my world a long lie-in, I’m up by 7.30. Enjoyed the morning sitting on the sofa and drinking coffee. Bambino emerged a couple of hours later and I did a bunch of laundry, cleaned the apartment and got all the Christmas decorations out. We headed to the Swedish shop and got our body weight in sweets plus two tubs of gingerbread cookie dough – I’ve polished one off so far, which means I’ve eaten it and not that I’ve baked any cookies. I get this cookie dough for this purpose alone. Hubby, in an ill advised moment, one year suggested we bake cookies and I nearly filed for divorce. It’s gloriously delicious, I cut big chunks that I proceed to put into my face as if it were normal cake. I’m not actually a huge fan of gingerbread cookies, but the dough – oh ehm gee. Anyway, this little outing across west London had us out and about for a couple of hours and after this our Saturday really dragged – it was pissing it down with rain so heading to a market or similar wasn’t an option. We watched Modern Family all afternoon, then I made Bambino play a few board games with me (he refers to this as BORED games, the little shit bag) and generally the rest of the day dragged a bit. Went for a long walk when the rain let up a little and managed to get my running shoes covered in mud along the paths in the park.

Sunday we made a fry-up for breakfast and then headed off to get a Christmas tree and spent some time trying to get this standing somewhat straight despite the trunk being shaped like a half circle (I swear they sent us off with a different one to the one we picked which looked so straight and symmetrical and perfectly Disney). I couldn’t reach all the Christmas decorations on top of our wardrobes but we put out the ones I did manage to get down, including the embroidered table cloths my grandmothers made for me when I was little. Christmas has arrived at Casa Storm, even if our tree is weirdly bent. In the afternoon I went for a run when Bambino went to get a hair cut and then we cooked spaghetti bolognese together.

Shall we add lots of chili because [Hubby] isn’t here?” Bambino asked and smiled.

Bambino and I both love a good kick, whereas Hubby often ends up sweating and having a runny nose when I cook, so obviously with him not being around we had a free pass to set our meals on absolute fire. Chili doesn’t go with bolognese though I don’t think.

No chili, but we’ll use the whole garlic bulb!” I replied and raised my hand for a high five.

Oh my God you’re so lame, don’t high five me,” Bambino sighed and rolled his eyes, “that’s so embarrassing, Mum, don’t EVER high five me.

Whatever. But see? Regardless of whether I’m uncool with my high fiving or if there is such a thing as too much chili or garlic (in my opinion there isn’t), point is there’s not that much there in terms of what we did over the weekend. It really was a very lazy one. What’s amazing though, is how the above would have been my idea of a Super Productive and Eventful Weekend back when I was drinking. Forget morning coffee for starters, and I would have been too hungover to get in the car to negotiate my way and then parallel park across town. You can easily remove walks and runs, and I probably wouldn’t have got the Christmas tree either.

TIME. It’s one of the great benefits of being sober along with countless others. There is so much of it now! And I love it! And this is what struck me about this weekend, how slow and really quite uneventful it was. Lovely, but uneventful. Yet if you were to rewind to my drinking days, I would have felt accomplished and really satisfied I’d got lots done. I mean, remove the run because that was never possible except for dry patches here and there, but beyond that. Trip to the Swedish shop – wow! Superwoman! Get a tree – fanfuckingtastic! So much time wasted on being drunk or hungover and all that time I used to waste I now have back. This weekend I did everything I needed and wanted to do and got a whole load of quality time with my son too, and I still had hours and hours to spare and had what can only be described as a slow and lazy weekend. Amazing.

Today I’m not going to drink.

8 thoughts on “The Loveliness of Slow

  1. At my absolute worst, the days when I was hung over in bed until 4:00, I still went for the run. My ability to run hard regardless of the night before was a large part of how I convinced myself that I really didn’t have a problem. Sober weekends do last much longer than drunk ones. Drunk, you lose half the night and then the entire next morning.

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    • Wow! I had trouble even taking the trash out!! I was in to running in patches but that also meant that I largely stayed away from alcohol. I just can’t do the two together, running with a hangover is impossible for me. Can absolutely see how you at the time could tell yourself there wasn’t a problem! Must be a HUGE difference now that you’re sober – bet you’re able to run both faster and further?

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      • Well, that was 25 years ago, and I was a bit of a running monster. I knocked out my fastest times at all distances from 5K – Marathon during that period. Now I just “enjoy going for a run*.

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    • Thank you! I think it was Jim over at Fit Recovery who commented something about “gentle rollers” in a response to a comment I made on his blog in my early recovery. It didn’t seem so appealing at the time but SWEET LORD, it’s aaaaawesome!!!! 🙂

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