The one thing my addiction hates is when I listen to anything other than, well, IT. That’s by far my most powerful weapon in recovery. Since I stopped drinking and started bettering, I am forever devouring everything about addiction I can get my hands on – memoirs, studies, fact books, documentaries and most of all sharing with others on the same journey. Needless to say, the focal point for all of that has taken place and continues to take place here in the blogosphere.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Those of you whose blogs I read, those of you who pop in here and exchanges we have in each others’ comment sections. I fucking love you. Never underestimate the magnitude of the part you all play in this chick’s recovery. Fine, I’ll stop before I get REALLY emotional. But I love you, OK? Like, loads.
My addiction doesn’t like this at all! Fellow bloggers, the Beast hates YOU in particular! Not only do you stop it from having me believe I’m all alone, you also teach me so much about it. The Beast is secretive you see, and would much have preferred me trapped in the illusion that it added something good to my life. The Beast needed me to think it was my only friend and then you lot rocked up and rocked the boat. Everything changed. You really are the worst! Unlike books I might read or documentaries I might watch, not only do I take in what you’re saying but then you interact too! Oh, you….. Teehee! Together we’re strong, see?
The Beast is a bit like, what’s-his-face, Hitler’s propaganda minister. Dr Goebbels? Cut off free press and alternative points of view – if you only hear one side of a story you’re never going to know anything different, much less believe it.
And that’s why one of my best pieces of advice is to learn – devour information, stories, opinions and perspectives like your life depends on it. Well, my life does depend on it because if I pick up a drink again the Beast will be jubilant and go about its business of killing me. That’s what it wants and ALL it wants: me alone, in its grip and set to die. The fix? Find those stories. Soak up what others who are in the same boat are saying, find out what the Beast did to them and how they broke free, listen to their stories.
There are so many great books out there, so much uplifting, heartbreaking and brilliant testimony. I’ve only read a fraction of them all, but you can browse my recovery library HERE if you are looking for something new to read. One day I will write a little comment about what I personally thought of each of them, but for now, if you want to be hit with a gritty yet laugh-out-loud funny account of addiction, try My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner. She’ll talk about the most awful stuff yet her turn of phrase and black humour is delicious. Sometimes you just have to have a bleak laugh at the absurdity of it all. I loved it. Might not be to everyone’s taste, but there we are. That’s how rock’n’roll I am – book recommendations on a Friday evening.
Well, my sexy Hubby is heading home after a week away with work and I should probably do something about that pedicure… ..or perhaps I can just squeeze in one more teeny tiny little episode of Modern Family…
Today I’m not going to drink.