Can I just share a little victory at 627 days sober, please? One year, eight months and 19 days sober, my husband just said to me this morning: “I was worried about you“.
I haven’t heard him say these words in a very long time, you see. At one point he said them quite frequently. Usually it’d be when he was travelling and I was home alone, typically when I was drinking myself to pieces and deliberately switched my phone off so he wouldn’t hear me slur. I’d normally text him and say I was having an early night but I don’t think he ever believed me and quite rightly too as it was never the truth. I made myself unavailable so I could guzzle wine and he was probably worried sick every time, not knowing what state I might get myself into.
And now? Today? What were those words about?
Sober Me loves running and I took the opportunity this rainy Saturday morning to head to the park after we’d had some coffee. The light drizzle was wonderful – just the right amount of rain to make for a pleasant run. Towards the other end of the park I had really hit my stride. My body felt strong and my breathing came easy. Sometimes it’s just perfect and it just works. So I decided to extend the usual loop and as a result I was out for longer than I usually am and Hubby ended up wondering where I’d gone to when I wasn’t back in 45 minutes or so like I usually am.
That’s what made Hubby worry about me this morning. And it dawned on me what a huge contrast this makes to what he used to worry about.
I adore being the kind of woman who worries her husband because she went for a longer run in the park than usual. I’m sitting here with a smile on my face and feeling so incredibly grateful that I get to be that woman now. That I finally get to be ME.
Today I’m not going to drink.