Well, how annoying! I had to smile, because I think it was the universe yesterday giving me a gentle nudge and teasing me that life is never going to be perfect.
I should perhaps start by pointing out I sat in bed and cried tears of joy when I woke up. Two years on, the gift of feeling healthy, clear headed and free of shame is still as wondrous as it was early on. I can’t believe this is me. I can’t believe how the promises all came true and are continuing to come true.
I don’t know about you, fellow bloggers, but my soberversary felt like the kind of time when I wanted to write a Super Great Blog Post. Something to shout about the magic of a sober life, or perhaps top ten tips for getting sober – you know what I mean, right? The sort of post I may have looked at two-ish years ago in order to sustain the tiny bit of hope I’d found that sobriety might just be possible.
That brings me on to a sobriety perk straight away: morning coffee. Oh, I know, I’ve bleated on about it LOTS but I don’t care, it’s my favourite thing. When I drank I couldn’t drink coffee in the mornings because it worsened the hell I already found myself in, but when I got sober….. OH MY GAAAAAAAWD. It’s the best. And I’m fussy too – I have a “grind and brew” coffee maker. Freshly ground beans for Princess Anna and only put some something that hasn’t been properly brewed in front of me if you have a sincere death wish. I’m happy to make do with instant coffee or kinds made to a lower standard than via my own coffee maker during any other time of the day or at someone else’s place – no problem – but at home and in the morning this is What. I. Do.
So I was going to put the coffee on, then go start the Best Blog Post Ever whilst it was brewing and then fetch my first mug of the magical stuff.
The damn thing broke!
Jeez, how this riled me. What to do! I considered driving across London in the morning rush hour to find the exact same coffee maker. Anyway, it was a shitter – ridiculous, I know, but that’s just me. I like things My Way and don’t like deviation from My Plan. I was really, really irritated and riled by this. And of course because I’m so hung up on morning coffee and had had my morning ahead planned out in my head, the instant coffee I had to resort to tasted awful.
Miffed, but still determined, I then sat down to write the HAS-TO-BE-EPIC blog post.
…..and I realised that if I’d begun, I wouldn’t have been able to stop. There is so much to say – how could I possibly come up with something good? So I decided to do a video clip instead. To avoid rambling, I had a little list of bullet points. But of course one thing lead to another so even with speaking fast and trying not to go off on mad tangents, I waffled on for a good 20 minutes. And the thing just won’t load.
I smiled as I glanced out of the windows across the tree tops.
Well played, Universe. Well played. “Right, Soberella, feeling all victorious, are we? How about I break the damn coffee maker? Now let’s see what you’ve learnt, my little recovery student!” I swear this was what it was telling me.
There is no such thing as a perfect morning or a perfect anything. Having said that, it was a perfect day. You know, life is pretty low key a lot of the time, there aren’t often big, spectacular things going on, but what more could I possibly ask for when I have the life I’m so grateful for that I sit on my bed and cry tears of joy?
So if you, who is reading this, are reading this and you’re a little nervous of what is ahead – baby, it’ll get so, so good. You’ve got this and I’m so excited for you to discover what I have discovered too.
Right. Two years and one day now.
Today I’m not going to drink.